My story: Why I coach
It all started with a simple idea:
What you think determines how you feel, and how you feel determines what you can do in the world.
I heard this during my first session with a professional coach two years ago (shoutout to the phenomenal Colleen Star Koch at Rowan Coaching!). At the time, my career was teetering on the brink of collapse (and my personal life wasn’t doing much better). Despite being highly skeptical of the idea of coaching, at that point I was desperate enough to try anything.
As it turned out, my life was about to change dramatically. During the coaching process, I realized that the research career I had been pursuing was making me miserable because it was in fact entirely out of alignment with my core values. Once I made the discovery that I had been trying to mold myself into something that I was not, I was able to let go of the beliefs and thought patterns that kept me stuck in patterns of fear and anxiety. Even more exciting: I could finally turn my attention to the process of discovering what I really love, what gives me a sense of purpose, and what unique talents and capabilities I have to offer the world.
The shift I experienced during my coaching journey changed my life in profound ways. I moved across the country to accept a new job that enables me to teach the subjects I love while also having time to explore my other interests and passions. I went through a coaching certification course and began seeing clients of my own, which I have found to be incredibly fulfilling. In terms of my personal life, I ended a toxic relationship and began to put my energy into repairing and restoring the relationships in my life that provide me with the most support. And perhaps most importantly, I finally began to develop a positive and healthy relationship with myself. I learned how to let go of my constant feelings of self-doubt and to replace my need for external validation with trust in my own intuition and decision-making ability. In the process, I learned how to yield my desire for control over uncertainty. This, more than anything else, helped me eventually learn how to stop letting external constraints limit my own happiness and growth.
It has been a wild ride. The wildest part? 99% of this transformation happened in my head. I discovered that while there were certain material barriers keeping me from achieving my goals, much more important were the barriers that I was imposing on myself. Coaching forced me to take a hard look at my own beliefs and actions, to question some of my most deeply held truths, and to articulate for the first time a vision of what a happy and fulfilling life might look like. Then it gave me the tools to make that life happen. In a lot of ways, it feels like magic.