How I Learned to Embrace My Inner Hufflepuff

If you’ve ever taken the official sorting hat quiz, you know that some questions are rather transparent ("Which would you choose: power, glory, wisdom, or love?") and others more enigmatic ("You are faced with two paths. Do you take the one into the forest or toward the lake?"). Since of course any Harry Potter fan already has a (often strong) conviction about which house they want to be placed in, the quiz cleverly replicates the sorting hat itself by giving the user a chance to "choose" a few obvious answers, while also forcing you to surrender to the power (magic?) of the algorithm in order to ascertain your final result. 

When I underwent my official online sorting ceremony, I was confident that I would be placed in the house I strongly identified with: Ravenclaw. Then, I got my result: HUFFLEPUFF??!!

I was shook. HOW COULD THIS BE? There was absolutely no way I could be a Hufflepuff! For one thing, Hufflepuffs are nice. I am not nice! I am a master of snark. My favorite movie is Mean Girls, my favorite activity is talking shit, and my most treasured personal quality is my resting bitch face. 

Secondly, Hufflepuffs are boring. I mean, come on, everyone knows this, right? I was always shocked when I’d ask my students which house they identified with and many of them proudly proclaimed their affinity with Hufflepuff. What do Hufflepuffs have to be proud of, I wondered. The only Hufflepuff anyone even remembers is Cedric Diggory and he DIED during the Triwizard Tournament. (See? I told you I wasn’t nice.) 

Finally, the biggest problem with being sorted into Hufflepuff was that it had to be a mistake because for my entire life, I have been telling myself that I’m a Ravenclaw. I’ve been doing Ravenclaw things (reading a zillion books, going to school for a zillion years, getting a zillion degrees) and aspiring to live a Ravenclaw life (my career goals: become a professor, write books, teach students to become professors and write their own books). And it turns out I’m actually decently good at being a Ravenclaw which is probably why I managed to keep up the facade this whole time. 

But here’s the thing: being good at something does not mean that thing is or should be your identity. (Let’s recall the important lesson we learned from Maureen in Center Stage when she finally quit ballet: "Mom, you didn’t have the feet. I don’t have the heart.")

I realized that when it comes down to it, my central motivation in life is NOT the pursuit of knowledge and truth. I didn’t study feminist theory because it was interesting, I studied it because I want to destroy the patriarchy! I don’t care about teaching simply to provide my students with knowledge, I care about teaching because I can give my students tools to fight oppression (and recognize privilege) in their own lives. And ultimately, I am not all that interested in spending my life producing academic research that only a handful of people will ever read, because for me, knowledge production is not simply an intellectual exercise, it’s a way to make the world better.

Suddenly, it clicked. I’m not a Ravenclaw, and I never have been. I am a Hufflepuff, through and through.

And it makes sense. Underneath the snark I’m actually a very loyal person and a fierce defender of the underdog. I'm way more of a Janis Ian mean girl than a Regina George mean girl (as in, I only talk shit about shitty people who deserve it!). And if I’m being honest, I do have a tendency to become embarrassingly earnest in the face of things like sunsets, flowers, and puppies. 

I still identify with plenty of Ravenclaw characteristics, like critical thinking, intellectual curiosity, and yes, snarkiness. But I’ve realized that none of these traits are incompatible with being a Hufflepuff. It’s just that I want to USE these things to fight the dark lord... er, the patriarchy. And while you might think that all the social justice warriors belong in Gryffindor, I beg to differ. Caring about social justice is a very Hufflepuff quality. It’s not a coincidence that Hufflepuff is the house that has produced the fewest dark wizards in the history of the wizarding world. Not just because Hufflepuffs are "nice" (in case it’s not obvious, I still have snark aplenty) but because Hufflepuffs are the most inclusive and accepting house. Interestingly, it is the house’s policy of acceptance that has led to its mischaracterization as "the house of less talented wizards and witches." I myself am guilty of perpetuating this idea (in fact, this assumption is probably the main reason I resisted identifying with Hufflepuff for so long). But guess what? The idea of natural "talent" is a myth used by dark wizards to oppress everyone else. (And similarly, in the muggle world, the myth of meritocracy is used by those with power and privilege to oppress everyone else.) 

TONKS, YOU GLORIOUS HUFFLEPUFF

And just because Hufflepuffs have a reputation for kindness doesn’t mean we don’t know how to fight; quite the opposite. We might look cute on the outside, but don’t f*ck with a badger. (Indeed, the Honey Badger has been referred to as "the most fearless animal in all the animal kingdom.") Nymphadora Tonks is pretty f*cking badass and she’s a… you guessed it, Hufflepuff. Cedric Diggory died, yes, but he died fighting Voldemort, after passing every level of the Triwizard tournament. Also, it’s interesting that it was Neville Longbottom, the most Hufflepuffy of the Gryffindors, who destroyed the seventh horcrux when he killed Nagini. Looks can be deceiving. You might be surprised to learn that when it came time to defeat Voldemort in the final battle, the number of Hufflepuffs who stayed to fight was second only to Gryffindor. 

And now I’m wondering: why was I so anti-Hufflepuff to begin with? Could it have anything to do with the fact that being "nice" is highly undervalued in a culture whose favorite form of entertainment is watching women throw glasses of wine in each other’s faces on television? Or could it have anything to do with the fact that I’ve spent the last ten years in higher education, where people are rewarded for prioritizing their research above everything else (and are punished for spending more than the absolute minimum energy on "trivial" matters, like teaching and service)? 

Not that there’s anything wrong with being into academic research, mind you. (Some of my best friends are Ravenclaws!) But there is a danger when we devalue trademark Hufflepuff qualities like kindness, loyalty, and honesty in favor of intellectual achievement at any cost. According to the fandom wiki, "Ravenclaws are so competitive when it comes to academic success that they are known to back stab each other, and likely other students, in order to get top marks."

I’ve been there. Except as a closeted Hufflepuff, I wasn’t that good at backstabbing so I mostly channeled my competitiveness into self-destructing anxiety and perfectionism. (Also not a cute look, in case you were wondering.) I suffered from constantly comparing myself to my peers, many of whom I now realize were working with an entirely different set of goals and motivations. And most damaging of all, even when I was "succeeding," I never actually felt a sense of fulfillment from the path I was following. 

Embracing my inner Hufflepuff means giving myself permission to explore parts of my identity that I’ve been neglecting for far too long. It means letting go of unrealistic expectations and goals that I set for myself that were making me miserable (goals that I now realize would never have made me happy!). It means learning to truly value the person I am in the world, rather than the person I felt like I should be. As I’m writing this I’m cringing a little about how corny it sounds, but maybe it’s okay to be a little corny from time to time. Maybe it’s ok to let go of my RBF once in a while in order to smell the proverbial flowers.

As it turns out, if you find yourself slogging along the path through the forest just because that’s what you’re used to doing, you will miss out on everything that is beautiful about the lake. From where I’m standing now, the water looks pretty enticing. I can’t wait to see where this new path leads.