Reclaiming Our Joy: May Horoscopes

May 4

May is here, and Taurus season is in full bloom! The sign of the bull is slow-moving, nature-loving, and pleasure-seeking. This month is the perfect time to enjoy the fruits of the earth, the beauty of spring, and the general gloriousness of being alive in a body. When the sun is in Taurus, we are all invited to buy ourselves flowers, savor our favorite foods, take naps, and treat ourselves as often as humanly possible.

The collective energy for this month is the Four of Wands. I adore the illustration of this card in the Collective Tarot (which happens to be extremely Taurean): three people are soaking in a hot tub in the middle of nature, with a beautiful sunset overhead. A full wheelbarrow in the background suggests that these folks have set down their burden and are relaxing and enjoying the moment. A card of joy, harmony, and celebration, the Four of Wands reminds us that it’s important to pause and make time to nourish our souls with the things that really light us up.

Life is short, and for most of us, it’s full of far too many wheelbarrows and nowhere near enough hot tubs. All the more reason to seize the opportunities we have for joy and pleasure in our lives.

If there’s one lesson that Taurus is here to teach all of us, it’s that we underestimate the importance of pleasure to our own detriment.

How many of us actually take all of our vacation days? How many of us are able to fully be present and enjoy every moment of the time that we do manage to take off?

I know that for me personally — despite being deeply committed to the pursuit of leisure time — I often get sucked into privilege complexes that prevent me from fully appreciating my hot tub moments.

And yes, it’s important to be aware of our privilege. Our society certainly does not guarantee equal access to hot tubs. At the same time, failing to appreciate the hot tub because you are caught up in guilt spirals isn’t actually helping anyone. If anything, the more that you are able to truly appreciate the hot tub moments of your life, the more resourced you will feel, which in turn will give you more energy to fight the good fight.

Neuroscience teaches us that our brains are LESS effective when we forgo rest and relaxation. Our brains need something called “down time” — time when we are not asleep, but when our brain is on a break. So please, stop feeling guilty about bingeing Netflix already. And while you’re at it, imagine what it would be like if you actually prioritized relaxation and enjoyment as fundamental needs, on par with eating and sleeping? (Thought experiment: if we believed TV watching was a legitimate activity, might we end up watching fewer hours, and actually enjoy them more?)

In recent years, we’ve seen Black joy named as a form of resistance, joyful militancy put forth as a political strategy, and pleasure activism suggested as a template for intersectional liberation. If you’re like me, you have all the books on your shelf… and you’re also feeling like a bit of a hypocrite since you’re currently up at 3am working.

Turns out, it takes more than reading a book (or a blog post, sorry) to really effect lasting changes in our behavior. As I often tell my coaching clients, though, the first step does happen in our brain: it involves recognizing that in order to change our behavior, we need to challenge the belief or thought pattern underneath. Why exactly am I up at 3am working? Is it because I believe that I have to do everything myself, and can’t figure out how to delegate or ask for help? Is it because I’m a perfectionist who is so afraid of failure that I spend way too much time on something I should have finished hours earlier? Is it because I’m overcommitted because I haven’t learned how to set good boundaries and say no? Is it because I procrastinated and now I believe that if I don’t finish something on time it will prove that I’m lazy?

By the way, all of those are examples directly from my life. Of all those beliefs, I’d say I’ve made the most progress on the lazy thing by really leaning into my Taurean qualities as a principled refusal to produce surplus value for capitalism. (Btw, do you need someone with a PhD to tell you that Laziness Does Not Exist? You’re welcome.) The thing is, all of these still trip me up on a regular basis. These are deeply grooved neural pathways. As I’m writing this, I’m painfully aware that yes, I intended to finish this blog post by May 1st and here we are, 3 days later. And I could believe the story my brain is telling me about how pathetic it is that I can’t even post some damn horoscopes on time. Or, I could trust that for whatever reason, today is the day that I am actually finishing this post, and today is the day it is going out into the world. And that’s not a problem.

*Deck: Modern Witch Tarot by Lisa Sterle*

Taurus season offers us a powerful tool with which to begin to chip away at some of these internalized thoughts. The tarot archetype ruled by Taurus is The Hierophant. While The Hierophant can represent established traditions or belief systems (it’s often represented as a religious figure such as a priest), this card also offers the invitation to question the belief systems and structures that we’ve inherited. This is a process of differentiation, where we are learning how to discern our own truth, our own values, and our own beliefs. The Hierophant gives us the opportunity to pause and say, “Wait a minute. Do I actually subscribe to this particular belief? Is this aligned with my internal sense of knowing? Is this true for me?”

Numerologically speaking, 2021 is a Hierophant year so this is a theme that we are all working with collectively at a deep level.

This year, we have a huge opportunity to question the beliefs we’ve inherited — for instance, do police and prisons actually make society safer? Should life-saving medicine be subject to intellectual property rights?

These questions take on increased urgency at the moment because the sun is currently making a square to Saturn, a hard aspect that may bring our personal beliefs (Taurus/Hierophant) into conflict with existing social systems (Saturn). As the Daddy of the zodiac, Saturn, which is ruled by Capricorn, represents rules, structures, and institutions. As we begin to re-examine our beliefs, we may very well find that we need to break with existing systems — whether those are political, social, or psychological.

The tarot card associated with Capricorn is The Devil, which also came up as our challenge for the month of May.

We all have inner demons. We all have things that haunt us. Everyone struggles with some form of deep fear, shame, or anger. The Devil is an invitation to learn how to engage with these demons differently. And in so doing, to actually free ourselves from their hold on us.

*Deck: Tarot of the Divine by Yoshi Yoshitani*

This month, we have the opportunity to confront that part of ourselves, that voice in our head saying “you’re unworthy, you’re bad, there’s something wrong with you.” The first task is to recognize that these messages are coming from our inner demons. This voice is The Devil on one shoulder whispering into your ear. We all have one. And even though we know at an intellectual level that none of this is true, part of us still believes it.

The Devil is a crafty little bitch. It knows all of your deepest insecurities and fears and anxieties, and it will use them against you.

It’s easy to fall prey to The Devil’s extremely convincing attempts to make you believe that you’re a complete piece of trash. And then, once we realize we’ve fallen prey, we say to ourselves “Omg I can’t believe I just went down that spiral again, what is wrong with me?” And The Devil wins again.

The trick to resisting The Devil is that resistance doesn’t actually work. The harder you resist, the more completely you become entangled in those feelings of fear and shame and anger that you were trying to avoid.

As I wrote recently, the best thing we can do with difficult emotions is to try to befriend them. Kindness is the one thing that our inner demons can’t twist and use against us. And when we’re working with Devil energy, our greatest challenge (and greatest opportunity!) is to bring kindness and compassion to both ourselves and our demons. After all, the demons who haunt us are nothing more than evidence of past trauma. Underneath any demon you meet, there is a wounded inner child. Those voices telling us that we’re broken, we’re hopeless, we’re trash — those voices are actually just trying to protect our wounded inner kids. Once we can start to recognize that and discover the unmet needs underneath, the demons will disappear.

This isn’t easy work, which is why it’s all the more important for us to make sure that we are well-rested and well-resourced in order to be able to do it. And yes, we do need to do it. Not only because it will vastly reduce our own suffering (thereby opening up more space for all that juicy Four of Wands joy and pleasure!), but because if we do not do it, we may lose everything.

After all, we are living in a pivotal moment in history. We may very well live to see the demise of industrial capitalism as we know it. Or, we may live to see the rise of the most dangerous form of fascist authoritarianism the world has ever known. Both timelines are possible. And I don’t know about you, but I intend to do everything I possibly can to swing the pendulum toward option A.

It should be noted that as I’m writing these words, my personal Devil is whispering, “Are you kidding? You’re one person with a following of 300 people. Who are you to believe that you can make a difference?” (Addendum: Just checked and it turns out I in fact have 400 followers! I somehow underestimated my own influence by a factor of 100. Like I said, The Devil is a crafty little bitch.)

For a lot of us, our inner demons are keeping us from fully stepping into our power as agents of change.

In other words, The Devil is trying to keep us from becoming The Hierophant. We live in a world where so many of us are kept from our own power. Where we are taught that our only value lies in what other people extract from us for their own use, or the surplus value we produce for capitalism. We are taught that our voices don’t matter, that our experiences are invalid, that we should spend our entire lives seeking something outside ourselves, in order to maybe eventually prove our worth. When the truth is: there is something inherent within each of us that is so valuable, so powerful, so sacred.

You are already The Hierophant. Because we are all The Hierophant. Each of us has the capacity to discover our own truths, and to speak them out into the world.

The Hierophant says “Yes, I am here, yes I do have something to say, yes I am willing to share it with the world.”

If you are able to do that, I guarantee someone will be called to listen to what you have to say. It might not be 10,000 people. It might be ten people, it might be one person.

Ultimately the numbers don’t matter. We need to be careful not to measure our value by the number of followers or likes we get on social media (ahem). That’s a separate logic; that’s the logic of capitalism. The Hierophant isn’t concerned with how many followers they have, or how many likes they get. Your Hierophant power isn’t given to you by an audience, by followers, by anything external. This work isn’t about trying to become an influencer. It’s about finding your own voice, speaking your truth, and being willing to stand up for your beliefs.

*Deck: Next World Tarot by Cristy C. Road*

In Cristy Road’s Next World Tarot, The Hierophant is renamed The Messenger. This card depicts a figure at a podium, addressing a crowd of demonstrators at a rally. Road writes that “The Messenger asks you to lead by offering truth, and elevating the voices of the unheard.” One of the things I love about this card is that unlike other depictions of The Hierophant, this person doesn’t come across as a traditional authority figure. This is a regular person who is stepping up because they have something important to say, because they are taking on a role as a spokesperson. Not for their own aggrandizement, not because they believe they are so special. There are so many powerful figures in the history of social movements who took on a Hierophant role, not necessarily because they dreamed of becoming a movement leader, but because they were simply willing to stand up for their beliefs and say what needed to be said. Mother Jones. Ella Baker. Dolores Huerta. All Messengers, all Hierophants.

We all have our own podiums. We all have our own sphere of influence, whether it’s big or small in terms of numbers.

In the office, in the classroom, during family Zoom; you have the opportunity to question, to take a stand, to make your voice heard. Hierophant work happens in small ways every day. It might be calling someone out on a microaggression, writing a letter to your congressperson, or telling your boss that you will not be able to work all weekend on that report — anything in which you make your beliefs and values manifest in the world, in some way. The fundamental invitation from The Hierophant is to consider how to deepen or strengthen our connection to our own truth, how we can live in greater alignment with that truth, and how we can speak that truth out into the world.

The world needs your truth. Are you ready to step up to the podium?

Looking for more guidance? I’m now offering 30- and 60-minute tarot readings! Click here to schedule!

MAY HOROSCOPES

ARIES (March 21 – April 19)

What are you holding onto that it’s time to let go of? There is a belief, a relationship, a habit, or something else in your life that is no longer serving you. Channel your inner Elsa and let it goooooooo!

Tarot card of the month: Death rx

TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)

What’s blocking you from moving forward? You’re poised to take action but something is holding you back. It’s time to take a long, hard look at the beliefs you hold that are limiting you. You know what you need to do to cut through the bullshit and set yourself free.

Tarot card of the month: Knight of Swords rx

GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)

You may be feeling frustrated that you can’t plan for the future right now, but this month you have the opportunity to slow down and focus on what’s right in front of you. Trust that things are in the process of unfolding, and allow your intuition to guide you.

Tarot card of the month: The Hermit rx

CANCER (June 21 - July 22)

When it comes to the toughest moments in life, it can be easy to shut down or close ourselves off. What would it look like if you allowed yourself to truly surrender to whatever is coming up for you? True strength is found not in stoicism but in our capacity to be with our own vulnerability.

Tarot card of the month: Strength

LEO (July 23 - August 22)

This month offers you the opportunity to shift your relationship to your work. Rather than anticipating the final product, can you focus your energy fully on the task at hand? Patient devotion to your craft may yield more satisfaction than you expect.

Tarot card of the month: Eight of Pentacles

VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)

You are currently completing a major cycle in your life. Take some time to pause and celebrate how far you’ve come. Reflect on who you are now and what you’ve learned along the way. You have grown tremendously, and this achievement needs to be commemorated.

Tarot card of the month: The World rx

LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)

This month you are called to embrace all of the gorgeous weird quirks that make you who you are. Stop comparing yourself to others and instead focus on celebrating your own entirely unique way of being in the world. You are exactly who you’re supposed to be.

Tarot card of the month: Knight of Wands

SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)

It’s time to get in touch with the magic that lives inside you. Whether it’s your inner fairy godmother, your inner wild womxn, or your inner child who still believes in fairies, your witchy side needs outlets to explore, play, and be creative. When in doubt, follow your intuition.

Tarot card of the month: Page of Cups

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)

An incredible vision is taking shape — you are approaching a portal to another world. What do you see when you look through? How would it feel to know that you have the power to manifest that vision? Right now, anything is possible.

Tarot card of the month: Three of Wands

CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)

You have come a long way. Feel the weight of what you’ve been carrying slide off your shoulders and notice that you are now in possession of a new set of skills, experience, and know-how. How will you use them?

Tarot card of the month: Page of Wands

AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)

Slow and steady wins the race. Rather than feeling impatient that things aren’t moving fast enough, try to focus on staying grounded in the present moment. You’re in a process of transformation and it takes time. For now, just devote your attention to what’s directly in front of you.

Tarot card of the month: Knight of Pentacles rx

PISCES (February 19 - March 20)

A period of uncertainty, overwhelm, or confusion is drawing to a close. You are in the process of moving out of the shadows into the sunlight. Remember though: it is darkest just before the dawn.

Tarot card of the month: The Moon rx

Karisa Butler-Wall